4 Ways to Cope with a Tough Diagnosis

You got a call from your doctor.

“I am afraid that I have some bad news for you.” She said.

You started to panic, thinking, “Why me? And…what if this is it?”

This happens to many people on a daily basis, including me recently. I went to my doctor for a regular check-up, and it spiraled into a medical condition that I didn’t expect. I became so scared and anxious.

When things happen beyond our control, we tend to think of the worst-case scenarios. Are there any ways for us to cope with the tough news and go forward with our lives?

1. Allow yourself to feel all the mixed emotions.

   It’s normal to feel a wide range of emotions after hearing the upsetting news, including shock, denial, sadness, anxiety, and fear. You may break down in tears. You may feel stressed about the uncertainties in treatment or prognosis. You may not be able to think because you are overwhelmed.

   Take time to process these emotions, because your body is still in fight-or-flight mode from being in psychological shock. That might lead to irrational decisions or reactions. If possible, take a personal day off to decompress. Journaling is also very helpful because this can move those ruminating thoughts out of your mind.

2. Ask for support.

   Include the people in your life who are sympathetic and non-judgmental; they will be the best source of support for you, especially during the tough times. Conversely, don’t include people who tend to be overly critical or who may make you feel more anxious.

   It will be helpful to include your support system at various levels of care. Be honest with them about what you need. Whether it is to go the doctor’s appointment with you, driving you to treatment, cooking for you or getting necessities for you, you will feel more relieved with help.

   Also, if you feel that you are not able to manage your anxiety, it’s TOTALLY OK to get support from your therapist or doctor, whether in the form of therapy sessions or medications!

3. Stay informed and be prepared.

   Recently when I had some tough news from my doctor, my brain couldn’t process all the information she gave me. Luckily my doctor was super patient and told me to call her back for more questions.

   Give yourself a little bit of time to process the news, and then do more research about the diagnosis and treatment options. Remember, ask your doctor for reliable websites or resources, because there can be so many confusing ones on the internet. Reading the information after decompressing will enable you to assess it from a clearer state of mind. Make sure you are aware of all of your options and know the best approach to take. Get a second opinion if you feel it’s necessary!

4. Find outlets that bring you joy.

   “Just because your life will change doesn't mean it needs to stop." — I love this quote from the TV Show, God Friended Me. Because it reminds us that we deserve to find joy despite having a tough diagnosis. Life is much bigger than your diagnosis.

   Think of the things you enjoy doing and the people you like to hang out with. Mindfulness techniques will be useful to help you stay in the present. We cannot 100% control how the future will turn out, but we can give our whole attention to what we do and how we feel right now. Know that you are still here, in this present moment, so you can treasure each moment doing the things you like and spending time with your loved ones. Don’t let your diagnosis stop you from living your life!

It could be frustrating to deal with the unknowns, and you are not alone. I am with you, and I am still learning how to deal with this every day. Shifting your mindset from fear to gratitude will be helpful for us to cope with tough situations and go forward with our lives.

May you find love and support along your journey to healing!